Played femme fatale Audrey Horne in cult classic >>>
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Played femme fatale Audrey Horne in cult classic >>>

Airing in the UK on Sky Atlantic, Mondays at 2am and Tuesdays at 9pm
Writers: Mark Frost, David Lynch
Director: David Lynch
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After four episodes of slow-paced storytelling, which has been a little frustrating – although still fun – we finally get the pay-off to one or two of the plot threads from earlier episodes. We find out why Dr Jacoby was painting those spades, for instance, and we see that the device planted under Dougie’s car was indeed a bomb (so someone clearly wants him dead).
You can’t help but wonder, however, given David Lynch’s penchant for weirdness in lieu of what we’d call ‘mainstream’ storytelling, where everything else is going. Will all these other plot strands ever be tied up? The dead bodies in Buckhorn now seem like an afterthought, for example, which is odd given how much time was spent on them in the premiere. Why have we seen Ben and Jerry, but they’ve not done anything? Why do we care about them, or anybody else on this show so far who’s popped up in a cameo? And new characters are //still// being introduced into what must be the largest cast on any television show in history. How are people still keeping track?
Lynch and Mark Frost clearly have faith in their viewers, and that’s great; let’s hope the viewers continue to have faith in them. But yes, so far this really has been irritatingly obtuse at times. More answers would be nice. In the original series the showrunners were famously pressurised into giving us the answer to the question “Who killed Laura Palmer?” too early – but here they seem to be going the other way entirely. Remember Lost, guys? You can only suspend an audience’s interest for so long…
Anyway, Agent Cooper’s adventures are still as silly as ever; the occupants of an elevator screaming at him when he doesn’t move is kind of hilarious, as are those oh-so-painful trips to the bathroom. However, if Coop is like this for any more episodes it’s going to wear thin. And long-time fans of the show are really missing their dynamic FBI Agent – perhaps the reason all this is feeling so nebulous is because he’s not holding it together in the way he used to. Fingers crossed he’ll come back to us soon.
Elsewhere the show is still sadly exhibiting a rather disturbing amount of misogyny towards its female characters – not that the original was a shining example on that front, but this feels even more bitter and vile. We’ve had a lot of nagging wives or sexualised, naked ladies, not to mention women being murdered – and then there’s that mysterious guy in the bar assaulting the girl, which is horrible. Yes, it’s hard for a programme based on a show about a cheerleader getting murdered to steer clear of women in peril, but it’s still 2017 and writers need to be more aware of the cliches of always casting women as either harridans, sluts or victims. Come on!
As for that mysterious grabby guy: he’s identified on the end credits as Richard Horne. Is he Ben Horne’s son? Or could he be Audrey’s? If so, who is the father? Given his penchant for assaulting and strangling women, we’re guessing Bad Coop. Poor Audrey.

MacLachlan’s performance as the whacked-out Coop is very good – even his eyeblinks are longer and more languid than usual.
Gotta love the casino ladies looking totally bored while their boss is beaten up.

Bless her socks, she’s endearing in small doses, but the clueless Lucy is starting to get a bit annoying, even when only on an intercom.
The car thieves do a really good job of staying inconspicuous in a quiet neighbourhood, pumping out music from their easily identifiable car as they circle the block looking for prey…
The office guy with all the drink orders exhibits some really, really bad coffee cup acting – you can plainly see every cup is empty. Would it kill actors to ask for actual water in those cups so they look like they’re holding something other than air?
A lifetime of wearing different coloured lenses in his glasses really hasn’t done Dr Jacoby’s sanity any good, has it?
We see Sheriff Truman on the phone to his brother, Harry, who is awaiting test results. Michael Ontkean was asked to return to the show but has retired from acting.
Dr Jacoby: “Dig yourself outta the shit! Only $29.99!”

Reviewed by Jayne Nelson
Read all of our Twin Peaks reviews here and catchup on the first two seasons with our Twin Peaks Guide for Noobs.
We need to talk about Pauline…
Ticking off the plot points in director Richard Bates Jr’s Excision should be an exercise in eye-rolling. Teen misfit? Check. Dull suburban setting? You bet. Sexual urges on the path to womanhood? Of course. Overbearing parent? And then some.
Given the number of times audiences have been bombarded with all of those concepts, the big surprise is that first time feature director Bates is able to wring so much blood from such an old corpse. He takes his mission to bring fresh horror to these stale elements very seriously and the well-worn cliches of a nice family home, nagging parents and awkward teen exchanges become a suburban landscape so weird it is no surprise when a resident of Twin Peaks shows up (Leland Palmer – aka actor Ray Wise, playing the school headmaster).
The story follows Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord), a delusional teenage outcast who spends her time browsing surgical equipment on eBay and bunking off school to read medical books in the local library. This unhealthy anatomical obsession is not helped by the fact that her sister Grace (Modern Family’s Ariel Winter) has cystic fibrosis and may need a serious operation to save her life.
Pauline’s blossoming sexual awakening also brings with it the kind of erotic dreams Ken Russell (The Devils) would have loved, full of semi-naked, writhing extras with a fetish for blood. It is clear from the very first frame of Excision that Pauline is heavily aroused by these nighttime visions, and they become more intense as her mental state deteriorates.
While the world inside Pauline’s head is disturbed, the one outside it isn’t much better. Family dinners provide endless drama as she battles a repressive, disapproving mother (ex-adult film star Traci Lords), who dotes on the younger, sickly daughter. Meanwhile, at school her classmates view her with suspicion and disgust, the word “Gross” already hanging in the air before they speak it aloud. Her social standing isn’t helped by her boyish, spotty looks. The one time she does properly scrub up, it’s a real transformation.
However, Pauline is not a powerless victim to her circumstances. McCord plays her as an angry outsider, full of rage and dark thoughts. Bates adapted Excision from his highly-praised short film of the same name, which picked up 24 awards from more than 50 film festivals – including Austin Fantastic Fest and the Sundance Film Festival. His snappy dialogue in this extended version provides Pauline with plenty of zingers that lift the humour up from those murky depths, her quick wit and outspoken remarks leaving other characters stunned.
Excision is released in UK cinemas on 2 November 2012, with the DVD and Blu-ray arriving in shops just 10 days later. Bonus features include the film’s original theatrical trailer and a feature commentary with director Bates and star McCord.
Extras aside, this is one to buy for the genuine laughs Bates manages to create from such taboo material. Be warned though, this is humour so dark you’ll want to check there are candles in the house before pressing play.
Verdict: 8/10
Excision is released in UK cinemas on 2 November 2012, and on DVD and Blu-ray on 12 November 2012.